“Can I confront in public?”  asked my colleague.  “Sometimes I think we need to.”

Despite my own misstep, I agree.

I feel blessed that sharing my story about a public confrontation gone wrong has helped stimulate conversation and questions, but this colleague’s question makes me want to clarify the message. 

I engaged the wrong kid, at the wrong time, with the wrong feeling in my heart.  I know she is volatile.  I ended up interrupting everyone in the dining hall (including my own family).   I felt anger not concern.  In fact, I confronted the girl about surreptitious bullying, but I ended up being the aggressor.  She certainly didn’t want to hear what I had to say, but my method didn’t improve her listening level. 

The learning:  Confront out of concern, not out of anger.  Do not contribute to the youth culture’s love of drama if you can help it.  When I blow it, I can apologize, and students can still be held accountable.

Nevertheless, public confrontation has value and purpose.  If done with concern and an even temper, then it can advance whole-group learning, instill individual durability, and develop a tolerance for tension and discomfort.  In fact, students ought to learn to handle public challenge and critique, though teachers can help facilitate the learning within a scaffold of concern, brevity and purpose.

I strive to remember Romac’s maxim:  “Praise in public, reproach in private.”  I publicly lavish well earned praise on students.  I will also confront an attitude when and where I see it.  I just need to remind myself – concern, brevity and purpose. Students will not always like it.  If fact, most often they won’t.  Student will still balk and react – astounded that a person would dare challenge them in public.  However, with concern, brevity and purpose, the confrontation can push them to a place of transformation and self-knowledge.   As Paul Hurd used to say, make it “win-win.”

 What do you think about confrontation in public?  Please share your comments.