The unasked question was around when I was young too.  I can remember the stump my father had me remove.  It was at least 24 inches across with a root base two or three times that.  (There is a slight chance this tree stump has grown in my memory).  My father told me we could get it out of the ground but I was pretty sure we couldn’t.  I mean, seriously?  It was huge.  We’d had the back yard re-graded and the stumps removed from there but my father somehow convinced me that the bulldozer couldn’t make it around this side of the house.  (I can see now that this might not have been completely the case).  The stump though – it was ginormous.  I used shovels, axes, pickaxes, mauls, and every muscle in my body to try to dig it out.  It just never seemed to have wanted to budge.  There was one moment however where in my frustration I jumped on a shovel wedged under a root, and then threw myself on top of the stump; that one moment when something gave and I sensed a wobble.  That gave me hope.  So, I kept at it.  I recall it eventually bobbling around on its last root, working against us as I dulled that axe and that maul against dirt and rocks and sometimes wood.  Even now, probably twenty-five years later I can picture the pit that stump came out of and the joy I felt when we moved it.  I guess that side of the house did look better without it (not that anyone ever saw that side – it was hidden in the woods).  More importantly, I know I felt better having dug that monster out.

I know there were times I wanted to quit and truly believed the stump could not be removed.  My father had confidence in me and kept me at the task.  I probably even asked the “Why?” question regarding me, the stump, and its removal.  It was arduous, but I also realized that like the list above, it built character.  I have fond memories of digging out stumps.

Best, John

“I regard it as the foremost task of education to insure the survival of these qualities: an enterprising curiosity, an indefatigable spirit, tenacity in pursuit, readiness for sensible self denial, and above all, compassion.”

These ideas in action are what attracted me to Hyde in 1996 and are also what keep me enthralled in my work with students and families.

As I was saying, there were two student-interactions today which brought me to this reflection on Hahn.  First was the reaction and uncertainty displayed by the seniors in my Literature of Justice course.  Tasked with reading the Greek tragedy (and trilogy) The Oresteia, some have faltered and are struggling to keep up and keep on all the while questioning the relevance to modern life and the seemingly inaccessibility of the text.  In the midst of this reading, their frustrations are compounded by the difficulty they have understanding the play production, a final small group project designed as the culmination of the unit and winter trimester.  We were forced to stop, drop, and deal – reframe the work, reframe the projects, reframe the attitudes.  So we spent time clarifying how a play written 2500 years ago could bring to light issues we face today.  Students dissected the opening scene of the 1996 Leonardo DiCaprio hit, Romeo + Juliet, and started to connect purpose to creativity.  Light bulbs blinked on and hope returned… ‘There was purpose and thought behind Rigney’s insanity and layered expectations.’  It is often in the closing minutes of class where I see students have these ‘aha’ moments – they connect curiosity to purpose and see that it is up to their attitude to keep going.

The second encounter was with a young man at crossroads in his life.  A strong athlete and intelligent student, he had made some poor decisions and had repeatedly come up against a wall of truth, consequences, and disappointment.  In trying to connect with him I asked about his wrestling successes and some of the positive comments he’d received at a recent school meeting.  He said he willingly works overtime for the team and for the win.  The working hard hurts and he doesn’t feel good during a tough practice, but he perseveres for the long term gains.  A fighter on the mat, he had a tough time being a fighter in his life.  This changed today however when he identified that he had the “readiness for sensible self-denial” the Hahn spoke of 80 years ago – the willingness to tell himself: ‘No, I will not quit.  I will stick this out because I know it will benefit me in the long run.’   While he may fall down on this commitment, he took a step in his own growth and maturity by accepting how his positive attitude and spirit in one aspect of his life needs to lead him in other areas.  This is what will carry him forward and through future hardships.

Best,  John

If you were to Google “Belt Buckle Run” you wouldn’t come up with much.  If you are looking for a bizarre race, run where ever you are, then just follow the link for BBR.  My friend Pete has set up this ridiculous endurance race which only asks that you run an hour on the second and fourth weekend of every month.  The catch is that you add an hour every month.  (For more information, follow the link).  This is the context or at least the reason (if there is one) for my run this morning.  All Belt Buckle racing information aside however…

As I was saying, I found myself out on the road this morning for a slow run with only Bruce by my side.  He is a master.  That is just the bottom line. The two albums my iPod bounced between are brilliant in both their lyrics and broad reaching sounds. The first album, Bruce Springsteen and the Sessions Band: Live in Dublin has Springsteen’s energy, numerous remixes of older songs, and a collection of instruments which when combined create an auditory Mona Lisa.  His second and most recent album, Working on a Dream captures the beauty of Bruce as he heads towards 60 years old.  His voice, still strong, is controlled and mellowed with the wisdom contained in the images he describes and the stories he tells.

In the course of my hour running with Bruce, I had a number of ‘moments’ or recognitions of my life in music.  The first happened as Bruce and company remixed “When the Saints Come Marching In” in Dublin.  Listening to this slowed version, it was difficult for me not to glance back on my thirty-eight years and take stock, ever so briefly, of the events and people who’ve impacted me and who I’ve lost.  My thoughts drifted to recently departed Mike Dawes, then back in time to my sister Elizabeth, lost in 1999, and then on to the opportunities my life has afforded me and the appreciation I have for that.  Bruce holds no punches and in this remix he slowly brings the chorus, the horns, and a slow drawl together for what I might only call a spiritual moment.  This transcendent moment was built upon an absolutely beautiful, perfectly autumn, sunny day – ideal for running.

A short time later, “Kingdom of Days” (off of Working on a Dream) opened with Bruce’s declaration of adoration and proclamation of love for his wife, Patti Scialfa.  He walks the listener through the years of connection and the ease of being in her presence.  Describing their love through moments captured in the summer and fall, Springsteen creates snapshots of hands being held, laughter exchanged, graying temples and a jacket lent for warmth.  While these descriptions might easily be my wife and me, the song reminded me to make moments like this happen amidst the chaos of a young family.

See, Bruce is a superstar, not because he speaks of money and fame and jewels.  He is a superstar because he captures the everyday and serves it to us, to me fortunately this morning, on a silver platter, causing me to rethink it and see the beauty within.  Bruce made a normal run, sublime.

I don’t know how long I’ll make it in the Belt Buckle Race.  I’d like to make it through November (that is a two hour run).  If I don’t however, I do know that I’ll make sure I take the time at home with my beautiful, brilliant wife, my hilarious and adorable children, and enjoy the simple, sweet life available to me.

“With you I don’t hear the minutes ticking by
I don’t feel the hours as they fly
I don’t see the summer as it wanes
Just a subtle change of light upon your face…”

Get out for a run!

Best, John

Strolling down memory lane, I found myself watching a preteen favorite sitcom of mine, “Saved by the Bell,” when the constant “rebel figure” uttered a seemingly throwaway line that somehow managed to resonate in me.   “I love school, too bad classes get in the way,” Zach Morris uttered right before the screen cut away to credits.  This got me thinking…

How much emphasis does America put on learning solely through the classroom experience?  Don’t get me wrong; I’m not advocating that we do away with the common school system as we know it, but how many schools teach to a student beyond the confines of an English, math and history class?  Is life learned through the grade one receives on an art project or biology mid-term?  And who says school only takes place within an academic building?  While classes don’t get in the way of an education, they can make us lose sight of the importance of learning elsewhere.  You can learn as much about yourself by overcoming a seemingly impossible situation on the athletic field as you can by learning the proper way to write a five-paragraph essay (trust me, I know, my students have been working on that for weeks.)  There’s a greater potential to obtain more confidence in yourself than you knew you had by simply getting up and singing a solo on stage, certainly trumping the filling of a beaker with some liquid in chemistry (I used to be shy before I was introduced to the art of Performing Arts; now I’m the assistant director.)  Voices are found when you are forced into a leadership position beyond the boundaries of something that you would normally consider yourself “good at” (there’s nothing quite like watching a quiet senior beginning to run school meetings and come out of it a louder person.)

Everyone has dreams, but outside of the constant overachiever, very few dream of ending their high school career with a 4.0 GPA.  So once again why should getting an A on the upcoming Spanish prueba be the most important thing in a teenager’s life?  While there is the old adage “Education is wasted on the young,” similarly “youth is wasted with thoughts of only the classroom.”  Round yourself!  Continue to push yourself in academics; it is an important thing after all…but the buck of knowledge doesn’t end there!  Try something new; take a risk in something that yesterday seemed like it would never happen, dare to go big, and, above all else, keep yourself ready to be a sponge for education no matter the time or place.

When I heard this comment from the parent, I laughed.  It also gave me pause to be more observant of this student’s action and attitude.  Over the last few days I’ve watched him in class, on the field, and around the school.  He is in a different place and his actions show it.  Athletically, he is working overtime to earn a starting position and set the example for his peers.  Academically, he is speaking out, has caught up on missed assignments, and is no longer slumped in his seat.  In fact, he sits with a straight back and doesn’t divert his eyes.  When walking by me on the paths, he greets me and those he passes.  While he will undoubtedly stumble again, like we all do, I am proud of his effort and know that, now, after weathering the difficulty, he wants to make the most of his time here at Hyde.  Yes, he has a new hobby.  Homework is only part of it though.  Hard work and belief in himself are at the core.

Best, John

I spent this past weekend in Whitesboro, TX celebrating the marriage of former Hyde student Melissa Thompson (’04) to US Marine Corporal Drew Frederick.  It was a powerful experience for a number of reasons.  First, Melissa and Drew were radiant and radiating the carefree love I believe newlyweds need to thrive on.  Additionally, Melissa and her family were so clearly in synch with each other and completely enthralled in this wonderful moment.  Surrounded by friends and family, there was a sense of adoration, humor, love and unification that pervaded the evening.  Having made it through the wedding gauntlet (25-35 year olds go to a lot of weddings) I was cognizant that there was not a rush of formality or structure.  Instead, there was simply grace.  Even in the face of downpours.

My wife Kirsten and I have watched the Thompsons as their daughters, first Melissa then Margaret came north to Hyde.  Susan and Cullum modeled curiosity and investment in family growth admirably.  Melissa and Margaret took up the torch and drive to discover what they were capable of and who they were at their best.  Kirsten and I were deeply honored to be invited to such a wonderful event and knowing the family’s commitment to each other and to their growth made it that much more moving.

The second reason why it was a powerful experience for me was because of the opportunity I had to catch up with students and individuals who I haven’t seen in years:  Cate Bradt, Joe Hillenbrand, Ted McCrann, Liz Slavin, and JoAnn and Duncan McCrann, in addition to the Thompsons themselves; alums and faculty members from years past whooping it up, pulling together to honor this young couple as they start along their journey.  At the core of the Hyde experience is the opportunity to foster deeply honest, direct, intimate relationships.  I saw this evidenced between the alums at this wedding.  I saw it within the Thompson family.  I also experienced it in the conversations I had with all of these individuals as we laughed about previous experiences and shared who we are in the face of life’s celebrations and tragedies.  I look forward to more reconnections.  Thanks for a great weekend!

Best, John

Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy

Earlier today I read another chapter of Leo Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina and was deeply moved by how well he captures the central character, Levin, as he awakens to life’s fragility.  In this section (Part III, Chapter 31), Levin is visited by his dying brother Nikolay.  With this arrival, however, Levin comes face to face with mortality and reality.  He reluctantly encounters this shrinking shadow of the man and brother he’s loved.  And although they have struggled through a strained relationship of moods, poor decisions, and differing politics, Levin is intimately connected with Nikolay.

What I am most enjoying about Anna Karenina is the accuracy with which Tolstoy captures the moments and emotions of daily life.  He brings me into his characters’ experiences and helps me connect to them.  Here is Levin facing mortality, reluctantly reconnecting with Nikolay.  Earlier it was the haying of the fields and the crushed romance.  In the opening chapters we find shallowness and cowardice, juxtaposed with the raw presence and poise of the title character.   Tolstoy delivers his characters and scenes so well that I even harbored a short-lived crush as I drifted through the early descriptions of Anna.

This is what I believe he wants me to do however: to saunter through the lives of others who lived (fictitiously or otherwise) years ago.  Literature, in my mind, is meant to draw us in, to help us connect to our own memories and to create hopes of the memories we might have years ahead of us.

I’m not nearly done with Anna Karenina and if I listen to my father-in-law, I should not rush it.  In fact, he suggests that I should savor it for another few months.   I like that.  I like it because Tolstoy’s characters, these captured moments, and the subtle emotions, do reconnect me to my own moments and memories, establishing hopes for my future.

“And suddenly he recalled how they used to go to bed together as children, and how they only waited till Fyodor Bogdanitch [their nanny] was out of the room to flight pillows at each other and laugh, laugh irrepressibly, so that even their awe of Fyodor Bogdanitch could not check the effervescing, overbrimming sense of life and happiness.”

As he listens to his brother struggle to breath, Levin thinks back to this sweet memory of their shared youth.  In this intimate moment, I cannot help but recall my own sister’s struggle in her last few months of life, almost ten years ago now.   My mind and heart then jumps ahead to today and to my own two children, Owen and Fiona, and the way they pounce upon one another, laughing irrepressibly.

I look forward to more of Tolstoy’s masterpiece as I unravel his captured moments.

Best, John